Think about it…in most, if not all upsets the source of the problem was the lack of clarity or agreement about the intended outcome.   While we often joke, “why can’t you read my mind?”, we operate as if people can!!!

At work, we often ask for assistance, cooperation or even tasks to be completed – yet we’re not clear about what we want or how it would look if we got exactly what we expected.  We’re vague in our expectations around time, conditions of satisfaction or why we need what we’re asking for.

Our partners – whether they’re family, friends or work associates want to make us happy, want us to be satsified and believe that whatever it is that they’re doing will accomplish that.  And of course, when we don’t get what we want and express our disappointment and argument usually follows.


We’re angry – we didn’t get what we needed and of course we have a “story” about that..

  • “I never get what I want”

  • “I can’t depend on anyone”

  • “I always have to do it myself”

  • “Why won’t people come through for me?”

We rarely ask ourselves…. “How could I have asked differently…. Maybe, I wasn’t clear about what I wanted and why I needed it?”

Great question to explore… “Who am I being that “X” is showing up?”

Next time, you’ve been disappointed or things didn’t go the way you  thought or wanted… try asking yourself that question.  Let me know what thoughts surface.