January 16, 2015
As you reflect on the challenges of your life, what trips you up? Where do you stumble? Most of us struggle when life’s events do not match our expectations, which is pretty amusing since life rarely does. Yet we live in the illusion that somehow if we do everything right, if we follow the rules – life will turn out the way we intend. And when it doesn’t, we’re often disappointed, discouraged, and/or frustrated. It’s at these moments our “story” arises. You know, the one that says “you’re not good enough”, “you’re not smart enough”, “you’re not pretty enough”, “nobody wants you”…. and in that moment we lose all power.
Our “story” is an old one; created when we were quite small. Unfortunately, we forget that. We forget that at the time, we were doing the best we could with all the capability we had as a small child. Yet as adults, the story lives on and we believe somehow we are simply “not enough”.
In our struggle to overcome this view, we tend to ignore the “story” and the impact it has on us. Of course, all that does is make our “story” truer. Think about it, if my “story” is that “I’m inadequate”, I’m likely to focus on all things that I can’t do or haven’t accomplished proving my “story”. Unfortunately I’m ignoring all the things that I do well. I’m also avoiding new and different challenges in fear of proving the “story” true. Quite a vicious cycle!!
Freedom from the grip of our “story” exists when we embrace our “story” as a story. A story created by a young child trying to survive; doing the best he/she could in the moment.
So next time, you find yourself stuck or unable to “get up and try again”, acknowledge your “story”. Embrace it as a story not the reality of the situation you find yourself in. Ask yourself, what’s true now – what strengths, capabilities, and skills do I bring to these circumstances? What can I learn from this situation to expand and develop myself? How can I use this situation to help me achieve what I want to achieve today!